That being said, I will always be sad that I couldn't make my pilgrimage to learn at the feet of the Prophet.
Today, the pearls will be cast into the stinking trough that is Washington D.C. Al Sharpton will cringe, Nancy Pelosi will squeal and cower, Harry Reid will blanch and then collapse on his fainting couch like a punctured flesh balloon.
We the People will not tolerate IslamoFasciSocialism. We will not tolerate it because our God has promised to destroy Communists upon his return. If you have ears to hear, hear this:
"And another angel grabbed my roughly by my shoulder. His face was that of a chiseled glistening fireman. His body was that of an underwear model in his mid-twenties. From him shone glory and came the musk of virility and velvet strength. I placed my hand upon his chest and gazed upon his glorious countenance. His fiery chestnut eyes peered deep into my being and began, slowly, gently, fondling my soul. My swollen lips parted as the petals of a lily, and he whispered into my mouth with breath of frankincense wine, "Say this unto those who would pool their resources not for the sake of profit but for the sake of the weak, those who would deny the inevitability of His will, those who would enter through the passage that has been deemed an exit only: I will fuck you up, but good."
There it is. Black and White. Go ahead and read it yourself. It's all there in Phallopians 3:4-10. Glenn Beck is here to usher in the end times. The communist, the atheist, the queer, the moslem, the hindoo...all of you better find a dark place to hide. And when the shit-hammer falls, you better hope I don't find you first. I'm not as gut-twistingly sexy as the Angel of Phallopi, but I do burn brightly with the desire of the LORD.
Show us the way, Glenn Beck. This country is a hemorrhoid in need of surgery.